Skip to main content

Parenting With A Story


Growing up in the 1960's sometimes my parents would say to me, "now, don't tell stories," heading off what they anticipated might be an untruthful account of events.  That negative stigma of storytelling stayed with me for quite some time.

Today, as an adult, I now know the immense power of storytelling.  Truthful stories, of course. 

Storytelling is indeed one of the most powerful ways we communicate.  Stories demand attention of listeners.  Stories inspire.  Stories are contagious.

"Stories put the listener in a mental learning mode," explains Paul Smith, author of the bestseller, Lead With A Story: A Guide to Crafting Business Narratives that Captivate, Convince, and Inspire.

Paul is an authority on storytelling and has helped business people around the world to more effectively use storytelling.

Paul Smith

Now, Paul has a new book, Parenting with a Story:  Real-Life Lessons in Character for Parents and Children to Share.   

Based on extensive research into storytelling, Paul demonstrates the power of a great personal story to reach and teach children—by showing the hero struggling and succeeding in a way that’s interesting and meaningful to them, or failing and suffering the consequences. 

Since, as Smith acknowledges, “none of us has had the breadth of life experience to have enough great stories all by ourselves,” he provides 101 compelling real-life stories for telling kids something substantial—about themselves and how they treat others—that they’ll actually listen to and take to heart.

Paul spent a year interviewing people from all over the world, across a wide spectrum of ages, races, and life circumstances, and in an astonishing variety of fields and professions.  

He then pulled from those interviews to present in his book a story collection of real-life stories to reinforce 23 character traits vital for children to grow into responsible, successful, caring adults.



"I asked questions designed to elicit memories of concrete events in their lives where they learned their most valuable lessons—their unexpected moments of clarity," explains Paul.  I asked questions like: 

  • Tell me about a time in your life when you learned an important but completely unexpected lesson
  • What personal stories do you recall hearing as a child that taught you so valuable a lesson you still remember them to this day? 
  • What’s the biggest mistake you’ve ever made and why?


"Most interviews yielded between five and ten unique stories. From that total of perhaps 800, I selected the most compelling 101 to populate the pages of this book," adds Paul.

In the book, you'll find the stories to be uplifting, humorous, heartbreaking, and touching.  They will impart lived wisdom and valuable guidance to children on:    


  • Ambition—including the importance of not only setting worthy goals, but also letting go of unhealthy ones.

  • Open-mindedness

  • Grit—featuring the story of a young gymnast who devoted more than a year of effort, two hundred-plus practice sessions, and well over a thousand attempts to mastering a basic maneuver that takes less than three seconds to perform.
 
  • Kindness



Wondering when the best time is to share your stories with your children?  Smith suggests:


  • Opportunistically - The best time to share stories like these is opportunistically – that moment when the need for it arises naturally in the course of your parenting. In fact, I’m of the mind that if you have to say, “Sit down and be quiet and listen. I’m going to tell you a story now,” you’re probably doing it wrong.
  • Dinnertime is still a great time for stories. If your over-scheduled lives have taken this sacred time from you, reinstate it. It worked for centuries, and it still can. This is when your successes and failures from the day will turn into stories that explain the lessons you learned from them.
  • Bedtime – Especially for younger kids, bedtime is always a great time for stories. Most kids would rather hear a true story about something stupid you did as a kid (and the lesson you learned) than hear you read another tired bedtime story from an old book anyway. 



Comments

Popular posts from this blog

The Benefits Of When Everyone Leads

It’s only January and the new book, When Everyone Leads , could likely be my pick for the best new leadership book of 2023. It’s that good. There’s still nearly a whole year ahead of us so we’ll see what other books debut. In the meantime, add this book to your must-read list.   You’ll learn that: Leadership is an activity, not a position. Leadership is mobilizing others to make progress on the most important challenges. Leadership is interactive, risky and experimental. Leadership comes in moments. Leadership is always about change.   When Everyone Leads , by Ed O’Malley and Julia Fabris McBride , presents a revolutionary approach to leadership; not based on position or authority, but an activity that anybody can undertake by learning to spot opportunities for improvement and taking the initiative to engage others.   “It can be unfamiliar and uncomfortable, but in a culture where everyone leads, organizations start to make progress on their most difficult problems,” explain t

Effective Listening: Do's And Don'ts

Here are some great tips from Michelle Tillis Lederman's book, The 11 Laws of Likability .  They are all about: what to do and what not to do to be a leader who's an effective listener : Do : Maintain eye contact Limit your talking Focus on the speaker Ask questions Manage your emotions Listen with your eyes and ears Listen for ideas and opportunities Remain open to the conversation Confirm understanding, paraphrase Give nonverbal messages that you are listening (nod, smile) Ignore distractions Don't : Interrupt Show signs of impatience Judge or argue mentally Multitask during a conversation Project your ideas Think about what to say next Have expectations or preconceived ideas Become defensive or assume you are being attacked Use condescending, aggressive, or closed body language Listen with biases or closed to new ideas Jump to conclusions or finish someone's sentences

Five Must-Read Business Books To Read This Summer

  Stumped for what business books to add to your summer reading list? Here are  five must-read books for leaders  well worth adding to your list: Lead With A Story  -- A Guide To Crafting Business Narratives That Captivate, Convince, and Inspire . Author Paul Smith explains why storytelling has emerged as a vital skill for every leader and manager. In the book, you'll find over 100 ready-made stories you can use as templates to tell your stories. Stories are so powerful because they are simple, timeless, demographic-proof, contagious, easy to remember and inspiring. Most important, they put the listener in a mental learning mode. What's The Future Of Business? (WTF?)  -- Changing The Way Businesses Create Experiences . This book, by Brain Solis, details the incredible transformation happening in business today, driven by new social and mobile technologies. And, he explains how experience design helps your business and how you can harness its power for business growth. This book

How To Make The Leap To Becoming A Leader

Here’s another must-read book to add to your list as you transition from manager to leader. It’s The Leap to Leader , by Adam Bryant . As the creator of the iconic “Corner Office” column in the New York Times , Bryant has spoken with more than a thousand leaders over the years about the challenges and nuances of leadership. Many of his discussions are included in his interview series on LinkedIn.  “The goal of this book is to provide an intensely practical guide to making that transition by sharing insights, stories, and approaches from hundreds of leaders to build the skills you will need to make the leap to leader,” explains Bryant.   He adds that the book is useful to everyone who is interested in leadership, regardless of where they are in their career.   The book covers:   The central paradox of leaders: selfless vs. self-centered. How to perfect the do-to-say ratio. Ways to navigate office politics. Tactics to making better decisions. The crucial art of compartmentalizati

How To Lead With Heart

Those who lead with heart consistently have discussions with their teams about their unexpressed  needs, fears, desires, gifts,  and  sense of purpose , explain the authors of the compelling book,  Leading With Heart .   CEO coaches and authors  John Baird  and  Edward Sullivan  share that anyone can learn how to make an authentic connection with their teams in order to drive better outcomes. And their book provides readers clear and practical insights to help them succeed in making those connections. Be sure to read the highlighted key principles and takeaways at the end of every chapter.   Baird and Sullivan further share that workers today want to feel respected, seen and appreciated for who they are. That’s why companies with the best retention, morale, and productivity are led by leaders with heart.   As Alexander Den Heijer said, “ When a flower doesn’t bloom you fix the environment in which it grows, not the flower .”   “In heart-based cultures, people feel safe pushing back and

Eights Ways To Demonstrate You Value Your Employees

There are  eight specific actions  business leaders can take to  show that they value their employees , according to  Andrew Leigh , author of the book,   Ethical Leadership -- Creating and Sustaining an Ethical Business Culture . Those  eight behaviors  are: Attention  -- Pay attention to what people say to show your interest. Listen  -- Make time to hear what colleagues, peers and employees have to say to show you care. Positive Language  -- Find words and phrases to show employees they're needed.  Examples are, "We couldn't have accomplished this without you," "That was really useful." Document  -- Put praise in writing to increase its impact.  Make clear where the credit belongs. Micro Sessions  -- Create two-way communication sessions. Visits  -- Schedule visits to teams and work areas. Stories  -- Share stories that highlight unusual contributions and provide your personal response to them. Invite  -- Ask people to contact you directly with their issue

How To Be A Go-To Person At Work

Bruce Tulgan ’s book,  The Art of Being Indispensable at Work   is   all about  how to win influence, beat overcommitment, and get the right things done in your workplace .   Tulgan says that what truly sets “go-to people” apart is how they think and what they do, including:   They understand the peculiar mathematics of real influence  – doing the right thing for the long term. They lead from wherever they are  – going vertically before going sideways (or diagonally). They know when to say no and how to say yes . They work smart  – creating checklists, step-by-step instructions, and professionalizing everything they do. They finish what they start . They get better and better at working together . They promote “go-to-ism”  – finding other indispensable people throughout the organization and building new go-to people whenever there’s a chance to do so.   Other  characteristics of indispensable people , are:   Maintaining a positive attitude Doubling down on hard work Taking personal res

Seven Tough Questions To Ask Your Team

High-functioning teams can disagree and still produce excellent products and results. Team members can also disagree and still care about each other. And, they can challenge each other to think differently. Best-selling leadership book authors  Scott J. Allen  and  Mitchell Kusy  recommend that leaders ask seven tough questions of their teams to help maximize their results. Here are those questions to ask each team member: What are some obstacles  affecting this team? What are opportunities  we could take advantage of that we have been largely ignoring? Where can you take greater ownership  on this team? Where have you let this team down ? Compared to other teams with which you are familiar,  how are we doing ? When was the last time you complimented the team  or one of its members? How open are you to giving direct feedback  to team members?

How To Listen Effectively

Here are some great tips from  Michelle Tillis Lederman 's book,  The 11 Laws of Likability . They are all about: what to do and what not to do to be a leader who's an effective listener : Do : Maintain eye contact Limit your talking Focus on the speaker Ask questions Manage your emotions Listen with your eyes and ears Listen for ideas and opportunities Remain open to the conversation Confirm understanding, paraphrase Give nonverbal messages that you are listening (nod, smile) Ignore distractions Don't : Interrupt Show signs of impatience Judge or argue mentally Multitask during a conversation Project your ideas Think about what to say next Have expectations or preconceived ideas Become defensive or assume you are being attacked Use condescending, aggressive, or closed body language Listen with biases or closed to new ideas Jump to conclusions or finish someone's sentences

How Leaders Can Move Teams From Isolated To All In

Here is a book that provides workplace leaders an urgently needed methodology for helping companies to reduce worker loneliness, and it delivers a blueprint for building strong, high-performing workplace teams. The book is,  Connectable: How Leaders Can Move Teams From Isolated To All In , by  Ryan Jenkins  and  Steven Van Cohen .   “72% of workers suffer from loneliness. And, what was once a simmering problem shifted to a crisis when COVID-19 and the sudden transition to remove work isolated workers from each other as never before,” report the authors.   “Loneliness is the absence of connection,” explain the authors. “Loneliness is not defined by the lack of people, because someone can be lonely even while surrounded by others. We require more than the presence of others. We require the presence of others to dream, strategize, and work toward commons goals.”   Furthermore, “workplace loneliness is defined by the distress caused by the perceived inadequacy of quality connection to team